Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Too much to bear

Lately there has been many things on my mind. In particular why are certain things happening to me? Why did I choose to come out to Utah, even further away from my family, by myself? Why did I choose to leave a job in hopes that another was better? Why, why, why?
Then a thought popped into my head- one that I'm sure many people have heard before- He doesn't give us more than we can bear. Then I thought, why does He trust me so much to put me through these trials? Why these ones? Why would He think I could handle these?
Then I started thinking- that isn't true. As nice as it is to think that. He does give us more than we can bear. When it comes to heartache, trials, burdens, pain- He does give us more than we can handle. It's not because He is a mean God or wants to see us suffer. It's so that we can learn to go to Him. Matthew 11: 28-30 states, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
This is for anyone that is carrying a burden too heavy for them to carry alone. That is why I believe that we are given burdens that are too heavy and for trials that are very difficult. It is then that we are more likely to come running to Him. When things are bad in our eyes, we want help.
Now I've been fortunate to not have any terminal diseases come my way, I still have both my parents that I can lean on, I have siblings that I can lean on, I have friends, I have my health, I have a career, etc. But I still struggle from time to time. There are times that I would change a number of things in my life. But I wouldn't be where I am personally, emotionally, spiritually today if I hadn't had those times where I've gone running to Him in prayer and pleading. I've had times where I have actually said I can't do this, take this load from me. I can't do it anymore. There have been times that I felt utterly alone and silence was too much to bear.
Am I where I thought I'd be at the age of 26 as member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? No. But in all honesty- would I change it? No. I've had trials, I've had hard times but they've made me who I am and they are helping me become a better person.

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